While it’s been an incredible year in some ways, it also feels anticlimactic. I don’t know exactly where I thought I’d be a year later, but stuck at home in the middle of a pandemic was nowhere on the list. So many of the ways I thought I would measure my progress, like being able to do normal tasks easier, I haven’t been able to measure since I’m home instead of going out to work and other normal things.
In 2008, a year after my valve replacement, we had a party where my friends and I rented out a bounce house facility that also had sumo suits. It was, as Mickey called, my “yay, Jodie’s not dead” party. I guess I figured there would be some celebration to mark one year this time. We had initially talked with Liz and Brad about going to Europe for a week to celebrate after transplant. And because of covid, it got in the way. That’s not saying we can’t celebrate Big next year, but it just doesn’t feel as momentous.
I got my COVID antibody test results back, and it’s negative. The test is too new to know what that means - is it because it was so long after the vaccine? Did my immune system not respond at all? Peter had his dose 2 yesterday, which makes me even more disappointed in my results. We were planning to expand our social circle a little, and now it’s unclear if we do that, even with vaccinated people, if it’s safe.
This doesn’t mean I’m not grateful for everything that has happened. I had no rejection in my biopsy and my vessels looked great. I just wish things could start going more back to normal for me. With this result, I’m questioning if I should make any changes and if I can do more.
I hope you all are able to get your vaccine soon. And I look forward to when I won’t have to always wear a mask around others.
