Happy 1st Heartiversary

Jodie: My transplant was on a Monday last year. Tuesday is my clinic day, not  because it has to be, but because it’s the day that has worked best for us. When it was time to schedule my 1 year follow up, since the 23rd landed on a Tuesday, I decided it was somewhat appropriate to have the appointment exactly a year later.

Peter: This past year has been a long one. It’s amazing what can happen in a year, and we’re so blessed to have made it to this milestone in Jodie’s recovery. She has been so strong and has improved so much. 

Jodie: We have both been contemplative the last few weeks. Sunday was hard, realizing that if we were going by days of the week, it was one of our hardest days. Yesterday was even tougher, being the actual anniversary of the night before. We both worked, took Bosun to puppy class, and on the way home reflected. Neither of us slept much that night a year ago. I had every worst case scenario running through my mind, and was terrified I’d never wake up. And knew if I did I’d have to be all alone in the hospital.

Peter: Last year today was rough... I had stayed up all night waiting with Jodie before she was taken back to surgery, got a couple hours of fitful sleep in the waiting area, and waited around all day until receiving news. The nurses and staff were kind enough to help us stretch some of the ‘new’ COVID restrictions and rules, since we knew that once she made it through surgery, due to the  restrictions I could not be there when she woke up in with her new heart.

Jodie: With all the memories heavy on our minds, it’s also made the reality of today a little sweeter. We found a pet sitter for Bosun and dropped him off on our way a little after 7am. We parked near the main hospital entrance and walked in, just like last year on March 7th. I thought it made sense to take the same picture going in.

Walking through the halls and getting to clinic, there are so many memories. Once we got to clinic, it turns out that the same doctor who did my first clinic visit post-transplant was there today. We had a good check in, and decided that I have 6 months to try to get my weight more under control before we try anything else. Then I got an X-ray, and we made our way over to the cath lab. On the way this sign caught my eye, with the tag line “a year like no other.” I couldn’t help taking a photo with it.

Peter: After over a year of going back and forth from the hospital for Jodie, I would have hoped some of it would become routine... Instead it feels like I'm regressing, getting flashbacks to days spent fretting and worrying and praying - alone in the waiting rooms. Days where I spent every second waiting for a text or call with an update. Today was especially difficult, feeling refective about a year ago bleeding over to my feelings now. I was so anxious, and felt so overwhelmed. I'm so glad that I have Jodie to keep me levelheaded. I'm so blessed to have her in my life.

Jodie: If I’m being honest, it wasn’t much easier for me. We got to the cath lab before 10 and I was ready to go back at 11. For the first time, the drs didn’t talk me through what they were doing, and the meds made me so sleepy I didn’t speak up. My anxiety was through the roof. Then after the two hours laying flat post procedure, we still had to go to echo since they hadn’t come to us. I almost said no - I was still keyed up, tired, grumpy, hungry. I relented as it was on the same floor, but really couldn’t wait to get home. We finally left after 4pm. 

We got home and Peter just let me relax. He made dinner, then headed out to get bosun. Peter then surprised me with a red velvet cake. We both had a celebratory piece, and are having a quiet night with sleepy pups and purring cats. Last year I couldn’t picture what a year later would look like. I don’t know what another year will bring either, but I am hopeful.

Peter: It has been a difficult time, but we persevered. We can’t wait to celebrate future heart-birthdays with our family and friends. Thank you all for your prayers and support from afar this year. God bless.

So much has changed in a year

 I've been meaning to do another post for awhile, and then, puppy.  This is going to be a long one. While Bosun is a joy to have, in terms of sleep he is like a newborn, and during the day he is like a toddler.  He is taking a ton of energy right now.  It will be worth it in the end, as the more we do when he is younger the easier he will be to manage as he gets older.  He is just so smart!  We are definitely going to have to be firm or he will take advantage of us.  He is doing well with the potty training, not loving crate training, and settling in to our routine a little.  Peter and I just need to get that routine down a bit more now. 

We really enjoyed the rest of our vacation in Maine.  We were able to relax, get to know Bosun, get Stella used to and even a little excited about him, and by the last few days we had even figured out how to get a little bit done.  We brought some board games with us thinking that we usually have all this free time at night - didn't work out so well.  But we really loved the new (to them) house Patty and Jay bought, and are looking forward to going back for years. 

We started our drive back on a Thursday, and Bosun did well on my lap or in the wheelwell at my feet.  Our first night we stayed outside Boston.  We did a park meetup with my friend Mickey and her son Forest, and with Matt and Colleen and their dog Josie.  It was so good to see them!  That night, after feeding the pups, we met up with Sylvi and Vinay and had a masked tour of their now house.  We figured that since they haven't moved in yet, there wouldn't be much of anything for Bosun to get into.  But in true puppy style, he still found ways to be  mischievious.  We had a really nice time with them. 

The next day we left quite early and stopped in East Greenwich RI at my friend/old coworker Matt's house.  His two youngest daughters were still around, and we had a visit with the pets outside.  The twins had wanted to start a dog walking club pre-covid, so they LOVED getting to walk and play with both dogs.  We had a nice time, and the pups went straight to sleep in the car. We then drove another hour and a half until we get to Guilford CT, where we checked out Peter's Aunt Jeannie's studio.  It was really fun to see, and she let me pick out something for my birthday.  I got a gorgeous pair of earrning and bought the matching necklace so now I have a set. Then we headed down to NYC and stopped in Harlem to have a stoop visit with Brogiin.  Unfortunatley, her son was napping so we didn't get to meet him, but it was so nice to see her. 

That night we were supposed to stay at another Airbnb, but despite it being a "whole guest suite" there was no door to the hosts living space, and it was hard to wrangle the pets.  Peter went to grab us dinner and when he got back, the hosts had a family with kids over and they were all just hanging out downstairs.  We decided we weren't really comfortable, and that we were only 5 hours or so from home.  We reloaded the car and got home aroudn 2:30am.  It was a long day, but nice to be home. 

We had two low key days at home, including my birthday that Sunday.  We got cupcakes and take out so we had a nice dinner, but otherwise it was laundry, trying to do more pupppy proofing, and just enjoying being home. 

This past week we have gotten into more of a routine.  Bosun has not been as happy in the crate here, so we are trying a new method to get him to sleep and like the crate better.  We have learned that Bosun has a stubborn personality, so its giving us more motivation to really train him right.  He had a good vet visit, and today we start puppy socialization classes.  This week we were able to get him on a food schedule, mostly on a schedule for going outside, and if we get him and stella to play in the morning and during lunch time, he is usually good to just sleep under my desk while I work.  Puppies are a lot of work!

He has been a good distraction from thinking about last year too much, but I still find myself getting comtemplative.  Last year, this weekend was super stressful as we were prepping for me to go into the hospital to go on IV meds until they found me a heart.  This year, we've had a much less stressful time. We went for a long walk with the pups and spent a bunch of time outside, and even had an indoor kn95 board game night with vaccinated friend.

  I'm so grateful to Amanda, Cindy and family, Leah, and Brenda, who all came overa year ago  and helped to get the house clean, prepped meals for me for post surgery, etc.  It was so, so appreciated.  Last year in the afternoon we got the call they had a heart for me, and I remember how nervous and scared and excited we were going in. I now know that that heart didn't work, and my trying to ignore this virus called "covid" that was starting to be in the news because I didn't want to be too stressed didn't work for long. 

There are a lot of ways I'm feeling now, and I'm sitting in the complex emotions and just allowing myself to remember that vulnerability.  Its different being on this side of transplant and knowing so much more, but its also easy to remember a lot of the emotions from then. 

This also means that the world is about a year into covid and restrictions. I doubt many of us thought it would go on so long back then.  I'm hopeful about more people getting vaccinated soon, and going from there. Peter meets the current classification due to his job, and has an appointment this afternoon for dose 1! Really excited he will also be fully vaccinated soon. Over that happens, we may be able to form a pod with other vaccinated friends. Please be safe, wear your mask, and when you get the opportunity, get your vaccine!  I want to come see you all soon.