BACKGROUND

As many of you know, Jodie was born with congenital heart defects and had surgery at 10 days and 18 months old. She did ok throughout childhood, but had to be on some medications through high school, then another was added in college. Jodie went on to grad school, and unexpectedly required a valve replacement in 2007. It turned out she was in the early stages of heart failure, but only found out after the procedure. She needed to get a pacemaker since her heart stopped beating on its own, and then a few months later upgraded to a pacemaker/ defibrillator due to low heart function. In 2008, Jodie was told that she would eventually need a heart transplant, and that the doctor predicted it to be necessary within the next 5 years.

In the 12+ years since then, Jodie was upgraded to a bi-ventricular pacemaker/defibrillator which helped her feel better but didn't improve her numbers, had it replaced two more times due to the battery almost running out (normal process), was put on a new medication that helped her feel much better but still didn't improve the numbers. Then in April of 2019 things started to get interesting. Jodie went into an atrial flutter and after 3 weeks, had to be cardioverted (think being shocked with paddles, but more controlled and while under anesthesia) to get her rhythm back to normal. Then over the summer she started feeling more and more tired, and having slightly worse symptoms. Jodie had some tests in August that showed things were worse, and the doctor told us in October that we would need to check back in early 2020 to see how things are. After having those tests, its clear that Jodie needs to have a heart transplant.


WHY DID WE START THIS BLOG?

Jodie and Peter decided to keep this blog for a few reasons. First, as a way to keep our friends and family up to date. Second, as a way to share how we are doing and what we are going through (and potentially what we need). Third, as a way to document this journey.

We have learned that we want the people around us, and those who care about us, to know what is going on, but don't always have the energy to talk about it over and over. We will be sharing was is "on our hearts" as we go through this journey. We welcome you to check in as often as you like. Thoughts and prayers are much appreciated. You are always welcome to reach out individually, but please feel free to leave comments on our posts and we will try to respond to everyone when we can. We are also planning to use this platform to share news when we don't have time or energy to send to everyone.

Some of our posts may be more emotional, and some may be about more mundane things. Once we get to step 4, it could take anywhere between 1 day and a year or more to reach step 5. We have no way to know. As we are in that waiting period, we do know that one of the things that will be helpful to us will be to keep busy - board game nights, movies, etc. If you are nearby, please do reach out. While Jodie can't be doing anything too strenuous right now, we still want to connect with people. If things come up that we need or could use help on, we may post it here, or reach out specifically to those who have let us know they want to help.

Thank you for walking with us through this journey as we share what is on our hearts. Please check back for updates. We will add information as it becomes available and as we go through the process ahead.

God bless,
Jodie & Peter Elliott

Saturday, April 25, 2020

Pushing through fear

Every night I have to take my temperature and blood pressure. Last night, my temp read 99.3.  I immediately took it again, and it was normal at 89.6. I took it a few more times to be sure.

In those seconds between the two, so many thoughts went through my head. Am I getting sick? What if it's covid? What happens if I get sick? 

Now, some of these are worries I would have had after transplant regardless. But with covid going around, it's hard not to be afraid. There is so much to do around to house already plus the extra cleaning for me to stay safe, adding in keeping us safe from covid is exhausting. 

This transplant process is hard. And it's scary. There are so many unknowns. While we certainly try to be strong and put up a brave front, there are tears, there is anger, frustration, loneliness, and fear. There is also distraction from thinking too much about it or it gets overwhelming.

We're both usually able to do something to feel better before we go down the rabbit hole. But some days I feel vulnerable. Today started as one of those days, but what I'm realizing is that reaching out to Peter and to friends for support is something that sometimes I need to do, and that the act of reaching out helps me feel in control.


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