Humbled

 I had a hard time getting to sleep last night.  I'm not sure if it was one thing, or a combination.  There is a computer monitor in my room, and the screen saver is a set of photos that cycles through and made the room really bright.  Finally, at 2pm, I asked if they had an eye mask, and luckily they did.  I got to bed fairly quickly after that, but was woken up a few times for vitals before morning.  I just kept my eyes closed and stuck out my hand for the pulse oximeter to be put on a finger, my calf for them to put on the bp cuff, and opened my mouth for them to take my temp.  Needless to say, I did not get up too early.  It always surprises me when the staff is so surprised that "you haven't eaten your breakfast yet" and it is not even 9am yet.  I got to it eventually.  

I got taken for an echo, and the doctors found me over there.  They found some leukocytes, which are a type of white blood cell that indicate there was in infection, in a stool sample, so we know I had some type of GI infection.  I've not had a fever in over 24 hours, and the other symptoms are much better too, although not completely gone.  I'm back to being hydrated so my bp has steadily been increasing, so they have started back some of my blood pressure medications. 

The question is, of course, what caused the infection?  We can't really find out, since as soon as I got here they started broad spectrum antibiotics after taking blood cultures.  But in talking through it with the doctor, she thinks it may have been one of the fruit cups I had this week.  I had been craving fruit, and since they serve mandorin oranges in juice at the hospital on the immunosupressed menu and canned fruit is ok, I figured that fruit cups would be too.  One of the rules of thumb is that the more processed something is, the safer it tends to be, and the fruit cups are shelf stable until 2022, so I figured they were ok.  I ordered a handful of types for our last grocery pickup, and had a few this past week - pineapple bits, tropical fruit, and cherry fruit salad.  The only other thing I can think of is that I have been making cold brew iced tea in the fridge, and on double checking it looks like all tea should be made with boiling water. 

So basically, I'm humbled.  That something potentially as small as eating a fruit cup could cause this much trouble.  And not only that, but that in a mere 12 hours I could go from feeling pretty tired but otherwise fine all day, to the point where I'm so dehydrated that its dangerous.  Peter and I have been careful with our food prep, but have not been quite as diligent recently as things have been going so smooth.  This is a good reminder that we need to stay vigilant, even though it is hard. It also occurred to me that if a GI infection could do this much damage, what would something worse, like the flu or pneumonia do to me?  I've been saying with relative confidence that if I caught covid, I'd be likely to die, and after this, I have no doubt - my body is simply not able to fight off infections due to the immunosuppression.  Something I've known intellectually, but is really humbling to really know after going through it. 

So please stay safe.  Wear your masks.  Socially distance.  Don't have large gatherings, and if you do wear your mask.  It sounds like I might be allowed to go home tomorrow, so I'm praying that is the case.